Thursday, August 15, 2013

A Moment of Reality (Pt. 2)

Happy Thursday!

Let me see if I can jump in to what was I was saying back on...Monday? Wow this weeks feels way too long, and my mind feels a little squishy.....oddly just like my midsection.

So to catch you up here, where I was talking about how I realized I have been lying to myself about my weight, and how I am stick of saying I am going to take the steps to get healthy only to give up after a few weeks of slow/no progress. 

So back to where I left off, or well as close as I can get.

I was talking to my mom last week (oddly the day after I saw the highest number ever on the scale) about how easy it is to just lie to yourself and say "Hey, it's not that bad", "There are people bigger than me", "Weight is just a number", and so on and so forth.  She said that for years she had done just that. Then one day when someone said something about "I weight more than when I was pregnant," something clicked and she didn't want to lie to herself anymore. Don't get my wrong guys my mom was never fat, she has always been beautiful, she was just not where she wanted to be with her health.  Now she is in better shape than me, now she walks 5 miles every day, rides her bike for an hour, goes for walks at night with my dad, works in the yard for hours and is so active you wouldn't even guess she is about to turn 50 in a few weeks.  I am so proud of my mom, she is my inspiration to get my shit together and get my life back on track.

Anyways......back to lying to myself.

We all lie to ourselves. I have been lying to myself when I say that being out of shape isn't holding me back....but if I stop to think it kind of is.  My whole family is healthy and fit, I mean to the point where they go on family bike rides.  Guys I want to go on a family bike ride but at the current moment I would most likely die.  I can't even keep up with my mom when we go for a nice walk around the neighborhood.  I don't want to miss out on life, but I defiantly don't want to miss out on time with my family being outdoors and enjoying nature.  I don't want to be left behind y'all!

 I mean there is so much to do down here in the spring and fall, like hikes, biking, camping, long walks, and then you have the summer where there is the lake, swimming, water skiing (I currently feel like if I tried to learn now I would really hurt myself), water gun fights, and all kinds of other things, then we even have stuff we can do in the winter, like cut down your own Christmas tree, walk through neighborhoods and see Christmas lights, all the cute cloths to wear to parties

Then there are also so many things that I opt to skip when we go on our trips.  I mean this past trip to Mexico I was scared to climb to the top of one of the temples because I didn't know if I could do it. We could of gone kayaking, we could of gone salsa dancing, or tubing down a river through a cave, I mean there is so much you can do on a curse.  Instead I felt like I was too big for to boat ride down the river, like I was taking up more room than I should of been (and yes they tried to cram way to many people on the boat, so everyone feels that way but still not a good feeling). 

I know I need to get my butt in gear and get back into working out, but it hurts! My muscles aren't use to it anymore! After work the couch is so much more cozy to come home and just crash on. In the morning my bed is just so warm and that extra hour of sleep is just so nice. I know I could come up with an excuse for everything, so I think the first thing I need to change is my thinking, I need to tell myself that I HAVE to workout, if I don't make changes now I will never make changes because I know the older you get the harder it is. 

Ok I think that is the end of my brain wave for now.  Until next time I also completed Week 1 of the Summer Blowout Weight Loss Challenge, down 3.8 pounds!

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